The stars cry...as my wasted heart will love you.

outta my mind

2004-10-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

[Breathe esay...]

GP paper. haha. Tis a joke. It seriously ain't funny. I think our dictator wants to conduct some major mass evacuation of fellowship. My life sentence been sent. hahaha. Nvm

I once asked a best friend of mine

"What would u do if we love the same guy at the same time?"

She replied w/o hesitation "I would give way to u. Cos i know our friendship is forever and he is not."

I smiled. Cos i realised the guy would not be left with any of us loving him.

ooh well. Back on track. Thats what i'm gonna do for u too my dear^^

My another best friend suspects her crush likes me. Similiarly, with reference to the case study above. haha. I'll be true to my word. "I will not like him even if he does. Cos i know our friendship is forever and he is not."

U mean too much to me. I'm not going to give u up for any him yeah. *hugz*

I realised i'm so blessed to have so many angels of mine loving me. ^^

Finding reasons to smile today has never been easier. With the exception of having to mug for history. haha =P *hugz*

I'm missing someone..hmmz...

Exam blues. where are u.

2004-09-30T16:32:00.000+08:00

Admist the studying and furious copying of notes in a desperate attempt to consize them and make them more succinct for my easy understanding I decided to take a much needed break to blog. Because., i reckon my head is gonna roll this time. My note taking is never ending, i never stop printing stuffs and now i'm still comtemplating whether i should send John Merrimen's book to the xerox.

haha. whats so bad about that u wonder? ooh well. it HAS got to do with the fact i haven't sat down to read any of them! Gawd! i'm so dead. My head really ish gonna roll..tuk tuk tuk,,hahaha

Ooh man. Mininum time. Maxinum work. and i am sick. sheesh. I've never been luckier. haha. Looking left for a brief moment. My eyes are met with the thick layer of notes i just printed for 1 hr! Imagine. The number of trees sacrificed in that hr. Urgh, Talk about saving the environment. I'll stick to supporting the "Save The Pandas" campaign. That way, my conscience won't be placed at such a diffult spot. John Merrimen is also on my left and so is this lil' book of beauty tips. haha I bet its gonna be the best reading this week.

Man, i'm so scared. End of this year. I'm gonna lose some friends either by thme leaving me or by me leaving them. I just gotta pass my promos. I have to. I want to? haha

Gawd. Where is he. haha. i wanna see him. Tuesdays..he used to be in the library second floor. He's never been here since weeks b4 his prelims. I wanna talk to him, kinda sadis but i really do wanna hear his voice. I tell ya. His voice has the ability to make me euphoric. haha. I just wanna talk to him. He's not going to come back after this yeah. and school's cancelled tomorrow. Hurray. I can study! But, i can't see him no more. -sigh-

I just wanna see him and talk to him. Is that too much to ask for? hahaha.

ooh ya, i think i'm over that 'na kou jing'..haha. i dun think la. i really have! My friend told me his story. and..nahz. Will update u babes on this when we meet yeah! =D miss u all so muchy!.

To u sweeties..study hard yeah! I'm always here for u. Remember that yeah. *hugz* to ya if u are feelign stress. *muakz* thanks for bringing so much joy laughter and comfort and..Happiness in my life angels ^^

Josey..Casse..JY If u are reading this. Thank you. haha. Smiling? I hope so. =D

Hey. Dodgeball and POPCORN rocks! =D

At last new entry

2004-09-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

hahaha. i'm back. ooh well. i think i'm gonna change my blog add.

haha. My blog address isn't the most creative or intersting wan la. and i think it desperately needs a revamp!
haha. yeap. i'm blabbering incoherent nonsense here because of the fact darling Casse has 'requested' okok. she demanded a new entry. hahaha. i realised my best friends & the poeple i love have been reading my blog..hahaha *hugz* *Muakz* u to Angels..=D haha. yeap this blog has served its purpose..=)

haha. ok that accounts for the plain layouts and empty wishlist..haha cos i dun noe how to create one. the spoilt dashboard..gawd, which i could have sworn i put one in. the cow symbol which disappeared and the music background which has mysteriously disappeared TWICE. URGH. i sucked at this computer whizz kid stuff.

ok. i realise. i need a new blog and a new pretty lovely blog. ooh well.. when i do go around creating one. which may be soon..haha..i'll post it up and report to all my angels about it yeah! *promise* =D

*hugz* haha. had so much fun @ TP yesterday. Gawd. haix. i'm starting to feel i REALLY made a wrong choice about coming MJC. My aspirations i realise don't lie here but, i'm stuck here. HOW lovely.

Hey M.A.D4 Angels sorry i couldn't join u sweeties yesterday. Gawd, on my way home yesterday i realised i miss u all so. Man, how i wish the promos is nothing but yeah, nothing. haha. i wish it'll go away and for MJC to return my life back to me. - KICK ME OUT - and make me realise i suck would not really help, so i'm left with no choice but to work freaking hard, lose my life, lose myself, continuing rantling about how MJC has ruin me, try too hard to be happy and just live with it.

OOH man. NICE. again for the countles time this year. "What have i gotten myself into?"

I love my families, my pals and my religion. *muakz* u guys rawk!

haha. this enuff now casse? =P *muakz*

Voice within

2004-08-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

CHRISTINA AGUILERA - VOICE WITHIN LYRICSYoung girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl don't cry.

loser. i am.

2004-08-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

There he is. Should i talk to him?? *urgh* haix. Guess not.

Yet again, i prove myself to be a big time loser.

You go Mae.

ooh well, so many things to say. but i dun wish to type em' now. haha. Giev u all time to anticipate hahaha. what nonsense again from me. lalala. woohoo Life been good! =) Had a family gathering last night..=D Mummy's birthday! =) manage to catch up with my pals..haha. yeap.

Looking for reasons to smile has never been easier..wil be back! =)

woohoo!! Family and pals~!! LOVE u all so much! *hugz*

i hate being online.

2004-07-29T08:10:00.000+08:00

I just hate it being online. haha.

haha. i sound like some sadistic & eccentric freak la. haha. i dunoe. now i am in sch using the com. lolx. i rather use the com in school than the com at home. i dunoe. i just feel as though when i'm using the com at hm i tend to get seriously down and melanchonic. After using the com, i would then reprimand myself for idling online a.k.a wasting my life.

Gawd! haha. I sound worng.

Yeap, so my goal for the new day to resist going online at hm and make full use of my time. Does that mean i can't see him online anymore? okok. i admit. Partially, the reason of me going online at night is because of you! *urgh* haha seeing you online makes me feel euphoric? Nahz, too strong of a word. Maybe a tinge of happiness la. =P

haha. Here comes the annoying part. I dun even bother chatting with u when u're online. What a loser i am. hahaha. wheee..

Yeah! Sunday was so muchy fun!! =) Gawd, i feel so blessed and ecstatic when i recalled that day! M.A.D4 outing!! We went cineleisure and hang around there and HMV =) Bought a lovely blue ring so did Dolly! =D Our precious! HeE! *hugz* Love u all lotsa! Then, we went to watch Mean Girls. haha. Awesome movie. Tickled me silly! =) haha! We took lovely pictures too. But i wasn't really ready cos i was toking to a teacher confirming sum ELDDS suffs when the pic was being taken..haha =x But it turned out lovely still. =) Tomorrow yeah! gonna meet my darlings again! =) Can't wait! Gonna rush down to HMV to meet them. *grins* Love u all lotsa! *hugz*

Got a long day of school today...Homework undone. haha. the consequences of turning in early. =) Nvm, i'm happY!

haha. Right! Finding reasons to smile has never been easy! ^^

shame on me.

2004-07-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

Life is really drudge.

Everyones starting to dread school.

so am i.

I dread you too. What am i to do with you? haha. Gawd. Sometimes, i really feel so near and yet so far. Guess he will never know...

I just knew it. It was gonna turn out to be another deplorable mistake. I still made the mistake, i tried hard not to. I really did. haha.

I know i shouldn't but i wouldn't cos i myself know i couldn't.

Ooh well. sigh.

-A favourite mistake of mine-

Trying to be happy. haha. Borrowed Andrew Matter's "How to be Happy" book. ha. I'm a real sad case.

For entitling myself to feel miserable. Shame on u Mae.

=My wasted heart shall love you=

2004-07-24T18:17:00.000+08:00

ehz..where did the different font fucntions go?..aaww... shucks! Was looking forward to use it..=( but..again..i better not digress and accomplish my mission of cuming online today..

haha. Guess what..i am in Casse house now..haha..waiting for J.S to cook Japanese food for us! *hEe* =D Casse doing homework so i'm just entertaining myself online by updating my blog..yoyoyo..haha.. wanna update my freindster foto with the foto i taken with my beloved Anthea, Dolly and Loreen =D haha..then can put in the alwayz-forever-w/o fail lagging friendster. haha.. Casse has got some realy awesome MP3(s) haha. I am officially declared deprived of music these days. Crap. This is so oxy-moronic man, this shouldn't happen! haha. I love listening and singing to bits. One of my loves. haha. How could i do this to myself? hahahaha. -H-E-L-P-

Today went to KFC with my Jz and Shaline after Econs remedial/Leadership personality filing course/PW meeting so u can infer that i was famished when we finally made our way to KFC. haha. Guess what! My darling cousin who just given birth to my lovely nephew -Rui Heng- is the manager there! =) Gawd! I was so euphoric to see her, she gave me a 25% staff discount coupon haha. making me even more ecstatic! =P Sadly, though today the price was good, the chicken wasn't. *Bleugh* Getting dang saltish. Salty chicken. *eurgh* Nonetheless, i finish everything, with sum help from Jz. haha. thanks man! If not the poor chicken would have died an unworth death.

haha. Excalty the words daddy would use when i didn't finish the chicken wing on my plate properly. This morning, daddy and mummy left for some getaway to celebrate Aunt's Katherine's Birthday. Wish them a fun, enjoyable and safe trip. Love u all so much.

This morning, i woke up especially early. To hug my parents and send them at the gate and thereafter went to finish my pw. haha. what else man. =P. haha. Hope my concurrent GP essay would be better off than my last. *wishes* I did put in effort for this. *Hopeful*

Hmmz, reality sometimes is hurtful, but sumtimes things are not really seemed as it is, be more positive and don't be so hard on yourself. My dear friend. Do not despair. I am here for you. We will make it through, its onli 17 more months to go. You can do it and achieve your dream. Don't let anything or even anyone hinder your way. Knowing you had really been a blessing. Really. thank you for you being you and making my day in school a much more bearable and worthwhile one. *hugz* luv ya pal. =) I have faith in you, u can do it, trust me on that^^

Reality do bite for me sometimes. Ethan Hawk once said. Though he may not be some famous philosopher or great thinker. But, what this man said really evoke a certain melanchonic feel in me. and a sense of empathy for that guy. He said "I really don't know whether i am going to say i love you to anyone cos, i really dun noe what those words mean anymore." haha. ah well, maybe i could relate to his words thats why it left such a great impression on me. For my case. you gotta take away the word "anymore." Cos, everything had ended even before it began and thus, there was never one i could really call my own.

Ooh well, i actually had to ask people. "How do u noe when do you u like somebody?"

They reply "You just know it."

Sadly, i can't seem to identify it. haha. Yeap. Guess this void shall remain then =)

Ooh well, once again today and for the many other days to come. Searching for something to smile about has never been easier. =)

Searching my lost days for you.

2004-07-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

I wanna use webdings --> thats webdings. haha. For telling and obvious reasons i abandoned the using webdings thingy.

New blog function. Just proved how long i have not bothered to blog on my blog? sounds odd, haha. who cares.

whee! haha. yeap! gotta update on my xiao zhu tou a.k.a Josey's birthday. haha. 10 people shared the pressie =P We got her a humongous puppy. which she claims looks like her Milo. I had to reiterate my point that that its a St. Bernard and not a beagle and thus, i conclude it doesn't look like Milo. But she insist lehz. haha. Blinded xiao zhu =P haha. Never mind so long as my bao bei like it i'm contended^^

Saturday had hell lotsa fun! haha. lolx. So happy just thinking about the day! blew my many days allowance but thats not the point haha. We went ktv, ate goody good food and had swensen's ice cream! haha. 6 people shared one earthquake! haha. Oeishi! ^-^ lolx. Love u all to itsy bitsy bits! =P

Sunday going to celebrate Loreen's birthday with Dolly and Anthea. Gawd. I miss u all so muchy man! Can't believe time really had flew so fast. Still, M.A.D4 shall rawk on forever. =) Love u all so muchy. Anticipating Sunday!!

haha. had to go on stage thrice to sing for racial harmony day! hahaha. ooh well, it was kinda cool la. =) had to sing Tamil songs! haha. It was memorable for all the right reasons la. Learnt a great deal of stuffs. Anyway its not everyday u get to sing in front of the whole sch an incomprehendable language to yourself right? =) But, i had enuff of standing in front of the whole school that i can make do without for now. =)

I did not attend school today. And no. I did not Pon or play truant. Had very bad headache. Gawd, here it comes again. I wonder had it got anything to do with this incident 3 yrs back whereby due to sum inconsiderate act by sum frivolous people, i had a flying soccer ball striking me hard on the head. *grimances* Since then on, whenever i feel overwhelmed by anything. The top potion of my head would feel cramped up and i'll get what the doctor termed as 'tensional headache'.

Hopefully its not anything serious like how it sounds.

Yeah, so now u noe that school stuffs have been excessively overwheming for me. haha. well, at least stuffs are done and i'm still alive and kicking. Most of all, i have something big to work towards and lil' happy stuffs to look forward to and be appreciative about. haha. Simplistically. i have happy things to be happy about amidst all the stuffs which my selective memory chose to erase. Its nothing really serious la. The usual school stuffs which seemed kinda endless.

Gee! yesterday had my first conversation with someone whom i had known a few months back but haven't talk to. Ahh!!..i almost died talking to him! His voice..*swoon* He got a really lovely voice. haha. okok. I like his voice la. This sounds corny but his voice is just so perfect. Felt kinda relaxed talking to him la. Unlike -ahem- Though we only exchanged like hmmz say 12 sentences in total? haha but...I'm so euphoric! hahaha!! Pray hard i'll get to see him tomorrow! hahaha wheee!!..=P

haha. okok. this entry shall then make up for the lost days yeah! =) *hugz* Love u all lotsa!

Whispers of my wasted heart.

2004-07-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Here goes the routinal practice of exclaiming "His ONLINE!!" hahaha..yeah he is, though status is (Busy) haha.. never tok to him though..

its okay..Knowing that his online is nice enuff :) haha. i sound stupid. but, wat the heck la..

I'm HappY! hahaha..sleep sleeping and slept today whee..with fat/cuddly/furry Butter getting strangled by me..haha..lolx..My Big Fat Poohy in his blue Poncho is da cutest..Lovely lil' thing or fat thing haha. Thanks Pals..*hugz* Miss u all so..How have u all been? lolx..this week passed in a flash man..so they say Time flies..Gawd..it flew la.

Just finished history essay and did sum pw stuffs..muahahaha..so happY! HappY happY HappY! (dun blame me..limited vocab..) haha. ok..better update my life b4 this Blog becums yet another void for me to sputter and utter gibberish nonsense. haha. Riiiight..

First time watching a movie for a second time..haha..Windstruck..well..didn't feel like the $8.50 was well spent la. haha..so i've learnt a lesson la.. Don't watch movies twice if u need to pay a hefty sum for it unless u really got lotsa money to spent which in this case should give Mae sum la. haha yr Money would be then said to be well-spent. =P haha. oops. nonsense again.

haha. i love durians..lalalalalala had sum durian puffs ok..so it was like 6 puffs..or was it 8? haha..so lovely! haha..deliiiiiiicious!! haha..the durian onli la..contemplated of just eating the durian bit and throwing the puff away. I abandoned the plan cos i realised i would be nag at and it is wrong to waste food. haha. so i gobbled the whole puff..haha.

Durians anybody? =D

yeah..i relished the art of making something out of nothing and realised i'm not very bad at it..haha..i hereby conclude that i've mastered a few trades..

1) The art of Stoning
2) The art of doing nothing
3) The art of eating and eating and eating @ Bugis
4) The art of making something outta nothing or as how dear Zhi Yun puts it "The art of Crapping yr way through" haha.

I chose to ignore her defination and shall stick to "The art of making something out of nothing" for very obvious and telling reasons..haha some things just speak for themselves. :)

haha..time to hit the sacks or strangle a.k.a hug Butter to sleep now..before i wake up feeling all drudgy and terrible. :)

DuRianS DuRiAnS DuRiAnS! ^^

Mango gooey

2004-07-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

haha..school's com printer is cranky with me. what crap. i hate school and i'm still here. how sad . Failed Econs MCQ ha. nvm.

Been following an odd scedule..time flew by everyday..its thurday now..man..its scary..been doing alot of work..endless man..
hahahaha

i'm going crazy..hectic life hectic..understatement..haha i hate MJC and supposedly to help mould the school's cluture.

how funny.

he said 'heyhey' today..i said "hello"

need more i say? haha.

i am so tired. currently pissed at crossley..she wanted to find trouble with my CT. go away la. what i did had nothing to do with him.u irk me today. dun care about u. I will keep my part of the deal, so u can run along and leave me alone.

wanna blog. but too tired. haha sleep cums first. so tired.

gosh. i'm tired too..sumtimes i feel so down. This void in me remains.

The stars cried, as my wasted heart loves you.

still, finding reasons to smile. *smile*

ciaoz to bed..whee..=)

sadistic report

2004-07-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

Hes online again!!! haha. Away again! hahahaha..what am i doing? =P..hahaahahaha..

byebye =)

taking it slow..

2004-07-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

he was online. he was away i was busy. haha.^^ hee..i'm happy just knowing he's online. sadistic huh? haha. who cares.

just did my history essay which i had procrasinated a lil'..haha..okok..for a month la. but i did it ..yeah!

watched "Hero" today. not a bad movie. not bad at all. Very artistically taken. woohoo.

Nice day nice time. ooh well. Kinda laidback. Maybe i've learnt to take things easy.

Maybe? Definately? haha. I definately hope so though.

Love u all! *hugz*

I still do hate sch though and i'm still very much a deranged lunatic. haha. Beware. hahaha. what nonsense.

adios! *hugz*

reasons to smile.

2004-07-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Kukop. =) Great place on water. Great Food. Fab time with my familY! =) couz + aunts =D

Woohoo! They rawk.

Great sea view. haha. sat on the ledge and look out to the far horizon. Life is beautiful ain't it? =)

yeah. it sure damn is. =)

haha. gawd. i miss the days whereby u would just email me and onli me certain messages. i missed the days knowing u would really be there and reply my messages. i missed the days u made me laff. I missed the days whereby u would message me b4 yr day ends. haha, i dun really miss u though.

well, who am i lying la.

haha. nahz. i dun have any feelings for u no more. and i guess u feel the same way too. but i do miss the lovely days we had that had made life more beautiful. This, i wonder if u feel the same way too.

Life has never been better u know. I've got my family, friends and my religion. what more can i ask? But, would it be sweeter if there were someone to share this lil' joys with? =) That i wonder...

ooh yeah. saw sumone who literally (almost) swept me off my feet..today, 4/7/2004 at Harbour Front 3rd level foodcourt..Think he was or is in CJC cos his friend wearing da CJC shirt..ooh well..haha. at least i know i'm still into guys *winks*

Finding lil' reasons for me to smile has never been easier =)

Love,
Mae

my wasted heart still loves u.

2004-06-30T14:41:00.000+08:00

so tired.

Fatigue.

sleepy. drifting into the stage of unconsciousness and the stage where i start to blabber and mutter nonsense in this blog.

well, too bad. haha.

i'm screwed. econs been an atrocious disaster. What the hell. In fact, everything been inexorably atrocious.

Haven't been sleepy well these days. ok. so i haven been sleeping these days. The tell tale signs on my face, no i'm not referring to my shiny T-zone. But the Fatigueness inscribed all over it. Sleep is indeed seen as a luxury now. But, its now my oppotunity cost. GAWD! what the (&#^&*^ did i just say?

haha. tot he was online but he was soon offline withnin time period of me complaining of being tired and the previous sentence he dc-ed i guess. After 2 weeks i see u again le. haha. Right. so?

haha. withnin the past week. Farni and eccentric things have happened. man, i'm becuming a deranged lunatic la. (Agonies of being in MJC) I declared to to this fella that i actually like girls, i did it for sum reason la. haha. and the idea now seems to be quite welcoming. lolx. haha. i actually tot of tranferring to Hospitality and Tourism Mangement on Sunday. Everyone took me seriously and mummy called Temasek Poly. At that threashold of time when i made my decision and sealed it with a kiss, I realised that was actually what i had wanted, but didn't had the guts to pursue it. Now, i at least now what i really wanna be when i grow up. =) Too bad, HTM was full and 'over-subscribed' as said be the secretary. Nvm, this must be the route planned for me by Gohonzon. At least now i know where my career path is going to and its now not towards the usual grim and dull wall.

The sweetest thing said to mi this month was from a lovely lil' six year old boy. =) Thank you Ashton. haha. yeah. I've got my own song! It entitled "Mae" haha. duh. its my song. Written by another deranged lunatic whose actually a genius in disguise -- KURT-- =) Thanks you very the much! yeah. and this shall add to the list of one of the sweetest thing that happened to me this month.

With so many things to smile about. Life have never been better. Well, it would be best if the exams were gone. But, what the hell. There sumthing for me to smile and be happy about. =) and i smile and be happy i shall be!

still..my wasted heart will love you.

my wasted heart will still love you.

2004-06-28T12:07:00.000+08:00

long time since i've blog.

yeah.

so many things to say.

dun wanan type.

Great trip. Learn a hella things. Found directions and purposes in life. learnt to be happy.

What more can i ask for?

Damn the exams. 4 more agonising days. haha. though not as bad as i think but what the fcuk anything thats associated with MJC is grimicingly inexorable.

Damn you. But damn me more..what can i do?

haha. Rhyming. but what the fcuk. my life is screwed. my education life i mean. I fear so much.

what crap have i gotten myself into.

I'm just a kid in an adult's nightmare. Help me. Will somebody give me career guidance? haha.

crawling in my skin, these wounds will not heal. and so my empty heart shall wait. In vain for you and withnin the midst the stars cry, as my wasted heart will love you.

On the selection of time.

2004-06-19T15:29:00.000+08:00

I'm flying off today. whee.. hahaha.. ooh well..Japan here i come! haha. oops. my stuffs are still not very packed la. Just finished doing daddy's daddy day present =) haha. at last! its looks very girly la, cos its pink with candles and heart shaped stuffs, but what the heck. Its lovely! haha. In my opinion la.

hEe! my pals are so sososo sweet lolx..darling Josey called, they wanted to send me off..haha. I told them not to la..heE! i noe they got the heart i damn bloody happy and blissful le! wheee...thanks pals! *hugz* love ya lotsa! haha. Casse, take the time to spend it with yr books =P ooh ya, dear hope u are well le..aiyoh i read yr blog i feel so xin teng for u lehz. Must faster get well k! =) *hugz* Josey, take the time to spend it with *ahem* and Milo yeah babe..all the best for the starting of your new school term! Have fun and must jia you jia you! Will alwyaz be here for u! ooh ya. Remember to keep lookout for maemae =P J.Y..take the time to spend with yr physics TYS(s) k..haha..and also in the meantime learn how to smile 'naturally' and 'sweetly' for the camera muahahaha *hugz*..hope yr flagday went smoothly =)..J.S take the time to get horny with yr horny group of Philanx muahaha. Gawd. Their cheers are out da this world or its damn in the bedroom stuffs la. MJC should adopt them lolx. muahahaha. Multi cultural school what. Must be western minded also mahz. muahaha. what crap am i gibbering.

Gawd. Gonna miss u all so! Japan no auto-roam service, so my hp will be just a piece of junk metal there. liew..miss M.A.D4 too..its been eons since we've met..haha..Dolly gonna escort me since shes working there..muahahaa my persoanl bodyguard! *grins*

Love ya all so much! You guys rock!

Ooh ya, went to study yesterday with JY. Did sumthing but not much, as usual i drank alot la and then we took some foto with her nice GD88 =D haha. Had a laffing session during the foto taking session. =) yeah. Been taking lotsa fotos these days la..with Josey camera at KTV also..haha.. after this hols gonna have my personal port folio of pics la =) *grins* J.S is sooo sweet lolx. he lent me his discman and CDs to listen during my stay in Japan. Thanks pal! =)

Lolx. I'm so blessed to have u all as my pals and bao beis. Love u all to bits. =) haha. U all hair stand? Got goosebumps mah? haha. that was my intentions lolx =P heE! *hugz*

Promise alot of people to take pictures of the beautiful and kawaii char bor and tar bors so Japan. muahahaha. Yeap. My photography skills are not going to waste. haha.. wait. What photography skills have i got? =P *bleahz*

okok, gonna message them later too..hmmz..gonna leave hm at 6+ gotta reach airport at 8pm. I think i reaching SG On sat since we taking friday's night flight. yeap. haha. Exams are gonna go down the drain. damn.

wheee..okok. gotta get ready now. bye!! Love ya lotsa!! gonna miss u all so! *hugz* *muakz*

Hugz & cookies
Mae

Fate awaits

2004-06-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

oooh..i saw u yesterday, for the first time. Or is it the first time? I can't figure out where i saw you before, yr face look vaguely familiar. Vague? No. Its looks too darn familiar.

haha.

"When two eyes meet, they are bound to meet again."

Then, a realisation suddenly hit me today. I suddenly recalled where i met you. Yeah, i rememeber you. haha. At PS mac la, u were wearing the same clothes. But that was like 1 yr plus ago! haha. this is freaking! I'm flubbergasted by this la. haha. No surprise Singapore is so tinny weenie. Yeah. Its a small world afterall. Or was it all just a fragment of my imagination, haha, guess i will know on saturday night.

Ciaoz! see ya then! =)

The stars cry as my wasted heart will love u

2004-06-14T21:25:00.000+08:00

Kiki: No, not Eddie.

Catherine: Why not?

Kiki: No, not Eddie. Eddie, who sings yellow submarine at the top of his voice for u just to make u laff. Eddie, who will save his mango in his salad for u. No, thats not possible. Not Eddie.

Aaawww...

haha just watched America's Sweetheart =) well, these lines by Julia Roberts character left an impression. So sweet yeah? haha. Hell yeah! haha. yeap in the end Kiki got Eddie. Happy ending.

-The stars cry as my wasted heart will love you.-

my wasted heart will love u

2004-06-13T23:44:00.000+08:00

haha. so tired. just done my evaluation for pw. zzz. Ver happy today. Met my lil' nephew "Rui Hen" 1 month old. how lovelY! haha. hey pals..how have u been? haha miss u all so. take care ya! =) Gonna have a long day tomorrow alot of admin and ELDDS stuffs to settle. Gonna religiously do my prayers..if not i'll lose my directions again haha. and be as lost as i can be..=P haha. i can't afford to. time is running out! hahaha =P

You are too perfect to be mine. Good things dun really happen to me. -out-

Bottleneck events.

2004-06-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

going crazy. haha. suddenly thought of all the things i have to settle before my flight to Japan. damn la. Blasphemies. arz!!! the list goes on la. and i still haven study. i'm panicking la. Badly. this suxs. help.

help!! technology nut here.

2004-06-11T09:55:00.000+08:00

haha. anyone noes how to insert music into yr blog and pictures? hahahaha..anybody?..woohoo..hello?..hahaahhahaha..=P..do email me if u noe ya? yapmae@hotmail.com

Technology nut signing off! =) =P

Maybe definately.

2004-06-11T09:43:00.000+08:00

haha. Brand new day. Fell asleep while reading this novel by Nora Roberts. haha. Hooked onto it le. Plan to snuggle up with it till 10+am comes =) dang. i think my colour is returning already. Just when i started to like the idea of being a lil' tanned. =( Never mind. Josey commented that my hair turned dark brown. haha.i was horrified at that la. Cos i like the idea of black black hair. Asians rule the world! muahahaha. ok. Me blogging in the morning really isn't a great idea ehz?

yesterday, i went out la. had a great awesome time. eat eat and eat la. Corochan, Simply Thai and Old Chang Khee and Rockery la. haha. liew. I eat ALOT. now i repaying for my binging la. woke up with a bloody bad sore throat. =( how to sing later? hahaha..who cares! i'll croaked my way through!! hahahaha =) starting to worry. when am i gonna study? hahaha. I'm enjoying myself la. hahaha. Digging my own grave- *snort*

ooh ya. The letter have to wait the author has not given me the green light.

wheee...hahahaha..gonna get dressed!! =)

Truly, deeply, madly, do. =)

Searching my days all over again just to find u

2004-06-10T09:28:00.000+08:00

Haha..I'm back from da camp!..haha..actually was back yesterday but was too fatigue to do anything but read newspapers haha..to catch up on the gossips i missed on..=P..okok..hmmz..let me backtracked my days at LTC camp at Labrador Campsite..

Day 1:Erm..reported kinda late la..hahaha..was assigned to group 1 =) made many friends but there one special one whom i clicked very well with--> Li Wen she's CCS Vice-President, sweet gal with an awesome personality to match =) Then we board the bus and made our way there. Couldn't sleep on the bus la so was yakking away with her. haha..when we reached Labrador campsite everyone was so stunned! hahaha u should have seen everyone's faces. They were like.."HUH! Thats the campsite?" o.O! haha..it looks rundown and deteriorating from the outside la. But it was a facade, i've seen worst. =P We call ourselves "THE FLARES" yeah! My teamates were superb =) One of the Best team i was ever assigned to. Everyone was singing praises about us being very bonded and cooperative. I couldn't agree more. haha..Our last words for the night was "I love u all!" =) Oh ya, we met our Instructor, Alice. Man, i love that gal! She rocks! She exludes everything a leader should be. lurve her to bits =) ya.

Day 2: Was awaken abruptly by fire drill la. *snores* next thing we noe, we kana tekan haha.had to be in pumping positions. Man, the assembly ground needs filing haha. it imprinted alot of holes on my palms and knee caps la. haha. Then, went back to sleep a dreamless sleep. That morning, we wakey at 6.15am or was it 5+? haha. to bathe la. The water was REFRESHING! haha..a.k.a superbly cold! had Nasi Lemak for breakfast which made me very nauseous. I guess i'm not very used to eating heavy breakfast first thing in the morning. Ooh..i believe the guys were very used to eating heavy breakfast in the morning. haha. they were finishing all the leftover plates of rice. I salute them man. They are Good! =)

That Day we did High elements. For the morning part i did the walk across the log while holding on the the 2 very far apart strings la. didn't breeze my way through la, considering the fact my belay got tangled and the log was swinging due to the strong winds. haha. it was fun nonetheless. Yeap. After Lunch, we did Rock climbing! haha..i finished my route!! whee..haha

Then the last activity i did was to JUMP la. This Challenging rope thingy. Actually, i had Absolutely NO intentions to jump la. I was terrified enuff looking at the way the log shakes when people had to balance on top of it. Then, a name ran across my mind- Daniel. Looking at people jump off the dang high log made mi think of my dear friend. He jumped facedown from his block last year and took a part of me with him. I lost a friend, my class lost their "kai xin guo". Laughter in our class had diminished since u've been gone Daniel. I thought i had gotten over his death. The i realised on Tuesday, i hadn't and i couldn't. I wanted to feel the fear he had felt up there and the courage it had took him to take the leap. So, with him in mind i climbed up the dang LONG HIGH log. As i stood up there, god noes how many stories high, i said whatever i had wanted to say to him. After saying what i had kept inside of mi for 1+ yrs, i said "Daniel, i'm so sorry for not doing my part as a friend for u, u'll always have that part of mi u took with u on that fateful day." Then, i just jumped la. i just wanted to jump with no intentions of cathing the trapez on the other end. haha. I screamed my way down la. haha. The feeling is so indescribable exhilirating? Fear? Fun? awesome? i dunoe. All i know was my heart did a somersault la and i was screaming. haha. afterthat, i was screaming "awesome!! superb!" haha.
After coming down. I cried. I thought of Daniel. Of the fact that he did not have anyone to catch him but, i did. The fear he had to go through and the intensity of the problem that had caused him to go to that extreme. and the fact that i couldn't be there to catch him. After that, i felt peace inside of me. Maybe i have stop blaming myself already. Maybe. Definately? i dunnoe. But, i do noe one thing. He will always have that part of me he took with him on that fateful day. Rest in peace my friend. U are missed by all. *hugz*
Oh ya there was a camp fire item la. I laff laff and laff until my tummy pain. Ah Bian RockS!! =D Pity, the sound system wasn't very good. if not we could have dance our way through mass dance! =) haha. Overal, it was a fun and awesome event la. A whole new world!!..=D hahaha..we got a standing ovation la..people were so sporting and encouraging! hahaha..so, the event was memorable for the right reasons =)Pity, it had to end early =(

Day 3: Woken dang abruptly la. Had to run back and forth to take my track shoes. Bravo company bunk was so far away la. That run there and back was nothing as compared to the long night run we had to make. It was certainly somehting very different and unexpected. Considering the fact i'm very blind in the dark and when i just wake up my eyes are not functioning la. I couldn't see and had to squint the whole way through la. i was kinda afraid i had to admit. Luckily my friend was there to lead me through. =) Thank U! i owe u one =) finally, we made our way back, it realli was a test of endurance. mind over matter. The guys were very encouraging singing those army songs and constantly saying behind me "C'mon Mae don't give up. Try and close up the gap. U are doing very well, we are reaching soon." I had to smile and give it to them. Thank u. haha. though we were still like 1km away but yr words were really very motivating =) Teamwork and a few words of encouragment really is powerful. Thank You! haha. after the run, i promptly fell asleep and woke up to bathe. haha. i bathe ALOT in camp. 3 times a day?..haha. The insects on the lights were dang scary. =(
We cleared the canteen fast and played games with our group. haha. this game "follow the leader". haha. i was made the leader and Miss Ee had to guess la. haha. she was so close to pointing me out!! haha..but she didn't and had to do forfeit By screaming "fire drill Fire drill.." and wave her hand and jump around. Phew. aiyer. Now she remembers my name and i'm in her front centre row during econs lecture! *creepers*
Then it rained. we had the closing ceremony and said our thank yous and bye byes and made our way to MJC. haha..My group was tickling me la. They were so farni! hahaha..but, halfway through i fell asleep haha.woke up with a sore neck..=P
Reached MJC. Gawd, i missed my sch and my home. Only 3 days but i'm a wimp. Ate sum stuffs and made my way home with Alex. While we were toking i told him about the jump and Daniel. Then he said this "The instructor also told us that the challenging rope is alot like committing suicide, it takes a lot of courage to jump but the onli difference is one is silly to not have a rope around them." I could onli nod my head in silence at that.

Home: Home sweet Home! haha..there was food! hahaha..didi said i look like Negro. hahaha. i dun care la. actually i kinda like my new 'colour' =P give me opinions ya pals! after eating i fell aleep and slept my day through. wakey to eat. again. haha. then read newspaper slept sumore woke up to watch World idol. then slept sumore. Woke up with a very bad sore throat and running nose this morning.*yawnz* later going out. =). yeah!!! hahaha. wheee..alritey, i think this entry is enuff for a week la. Long and draggy huh. =D LTC roxs!

yeah, next entry i shall post this letter a gal gave me to pass to my friend she allowed me to read it and i tot it was a lovely but sad letter. lalalala.. gonna ask permission from her to post it on blog. =) wheee..hahaha..wanna go sleep again! *hugz* Miss ya all! =)

Misses..creepers

2004-06-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Haha..i'm such a creep la. Before i go to camp already start missing everybody. Dang it la. haha..JS just came back form his fun trip to Redang and he got camp tomorrow at TP haha..casse got camp at TPJC & Josey got camp at a place in Tampines a.k.a her home..=P..haha..thanks for accompanying me today =) i lurve the dinner la..haha..now hungry already..=( eating biscuits..wheee..

I just like the feeling of being online and seeing him online. Though, there is no need for a conversation but knowing he is there is nice enuff la. haha..how sadistic of me huh. Cos i decided i had enuff of these stuffs. Set my priorities right =)

Now writing letter to Daddy and Mummy..haha..

Hope we all have a fun and safe camp! Rememeber to take care ya pals?..Lurve ya all lotsa! =)

Unopened Diary To The World..

2004-06-06T00:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary..
haha. corny start but wat the heck la. Been doing that since i was 8. Thinking back, i still use the same diary since i was 8 muahahaha, still with the very same opening of "Dear Diary.." haha. Guess, u can never teach an old dog new tricks =D
erm, does that make me an old dog?..*snort*
I'm blabbering nonsense la. Forgive me though, its 12.45am Sunday Morning. Haha. That makes tomorrow-- the camp. whee..how nice, things not bought and stuffs unpacked. How prepared i am. Just got back from a Harry Potter movie with my family. The third instalment =) whee..hahaha..Brilliant movie. But, i do still prefer the first instalment, its much lovlier in its own way. Though, Potter is getting cuter..hahaha..=P
Yeah, today went in late for PW lecture la. LT5 was empty cos LT4 was not utillised fully la. Both LTs were supposed to be filled. Lucky pon-ners had lotsa company...haha. I should've joined em' but today is my classmate's birthday so we had a lil' celebration for her in school. Did not want to miss such a sweet event, so there i was eating this absolutely deliciously lovely chocolat cake..*yum* i shared it with Zhi Yun.
Then, we went to KFC and preceeded to her place to swim. We yak ALOT la..haha..even in the pool. It was more of a chit chat session la then a swiming session. Haha, at least i got myself wet la. =P Lurve that gal man! =) But, she loves Ribena more la..*snort* hahaha =P
Got 3 Qns to do for Youth Tozan Trip but, i'm flabbergasted by the questions la. They stumped me. My brain don't function at 1+ in the morning so, i shall procrastinate for now. *guilty*
Wonder hows Josey and Casse day..haha..gotta suppress out urge of shoping today. haha..now in cold turkey?..=P haha..i am la. still brooding over my shorts haha..anyways if u both happen to be here "hellO! Lurve ya lotsa! *hugz*" =D On Thurs we may meet again!..hahaha..New territory to invade la. hahaha. I sound like a dang terrorist la. But, its "shun lu" rite?..=P..From Skin Centre to the shopping mall..muahahaha..gotta map out a shopping list liao. haha. I need prefessional help la. =P *bleahz*
My camp from Monday to Wednesday la. In some Labrador(sumthing like tat) Park. Haha..gotta miss all my pals and my family la. Gonna bring pics of u all! =D *hugz*
Okok, i gues this long entry will make up for the loss of the 3 days of entries.
Lurve ya all.
Wat Harry Potter's god father Sirus Black said
"The people whom we love, never really leaves us. They will always remain here, in the heart."
haha..keep me in yr hearts especially for those 3 days k? hahaha..i sound very mushy la..=P..but wat the heck la. Lurve u all too muchy to care *grins*
Nitey nitez! =)..sweetest dreams to u all! *smiles* and be HappY! =)

Dreams are my reality

2004-06-05T00:38:00.000+08:00

Hmmz..got this off a quit message of someone from #mjc...

* smalltaz has quit IRC (Quit (Wanting him is hard for you to get~Loving him is hard to regret~Loosing him is hard to accept~But even with all the hurt you felt~Letting go is the most p)

i figured the missing stanza is "painful step" since it ryhmes to the end la. Lets try.

"Wanting him is hard for you to get. Loving him is hard to regret. Loosing him is hard to accept. But even with all the hurt you felt, letting go is the most painful step"

Yeap. Go Figure. I guess my assumption is right. I suppose so. haha..time for reflections. cut the crap la. Simply, i like it. haha..i'm a sucker for this kinda poignant & melanchonic stuffs. *snort*

yeah. I did not cut my hair today..muahahaha.

Seems like yesterday..

2004-06-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
Realised i've been very fatigue these days. I feel so tired easily, too easily in fact. *Yawnz* i woke up at 11.30am..muahaha..got awaken by a call from Josey if not i would have slept the morning through like a log or a pig whichever suits me better. Went out with Josey and Casse again today..hahaha..all shopping addicts, i had to resist so many stuffs today as i'm relatively..okok..so very broke. Saw the bag i had been eyeing on..15 bucks but i had to set my piorities right..gotta get shorts for the camp..haha..so i abandon the idea of getting the bag. My Galfriends bought mnay bags though..=P..*smiles* Today we 3 all wore black..haha..xin you ling xin, yi dian tong..*grins* Then, after shopping at Bugis (haha, where else?..=P..) we went gown to meet Kenneth. Cool guy with a great personality to match, got a new assignment today. To look out for a girl for the fella. Shouldn't be a hard task i suppose, but i'm no good at matchmake and with he cited his criteria, the options that appeared were countless. Muahahaha.. This type of thingy needs Fate la..as they say..

" Fate decides who comes into yr life but the heart decides who stays."

Hmmz..Playing Fate now will be a humongous responsibility. Brace yrselves for the task now gals?..=P

Dang, got school tomorrow. My chinese teacher called me to interrogate me on why i did not attend both her chinese remedial. I explained to her 1)Amnesia 2) (today) Sick. I guess she did not buy it. She wants me to write her an expainatory note to her tomorrow in chinese. Another obstacle to overcome. muahahha. Well, Gonna watch Harry Potter Tomorrow and Go swimming with Zhi Yun. Wheeee..Sunshine after the rain tomorrow morning. Been snacking and eating hoards of deep overfried food and been suppering..dang. I'm guilty. Who cares?? So long as i'm HAPPY! =D
Wheeeee..muahahahahha =)

searching my days just to find u

2004-06-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Hello..hmmz..where do i start?...how abt with yesterday..went out with my darlings..they are such darlings..=D..haha..so fun nehz..i mean, i lurve them lotsa wheee..hahaha. Load sum pics in friendster..=D...i bought 2 pretty tops..and tomolo there will be a squeal to it wheee..hahaha..my camp is on Monday. i am really anticipating it la..sumthing new and exhilirating..a challenge!..haha..but dad's gonna go China to do buisness on tues..= (..man, i just noe i really gonna miss him..yeah..first time chat with him on MSN, man, it was so queer. Never mind, i decided not to try anymore. Today's ELDDS Night at rooftop garden..was so dang awweeesooommee...=)..had an awesome time man!..i sososososo euphoric..my darlings came down too!..Making it even more memorable for the right reasons..=)Yawnz..now so tired..gotta retire..tomolo going out with my dalrings again..wheee..hahaha..ehz..should i cut my hair?..=P

If only i had one wish..

2004-06-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

Hey..decided to come back to blog..haha..sumtimes u just need this void to just unleash yr agonies of the day..haha..yeap..a lonly night i walk..yeap..i like somebody whom i am nobody to.I dun understand whats wrong with me, i mean i've been a loser when it cums to matters of the heart. Still am, btw. I dunoe, but sumtimes dun u wish..dun u just wish..damn wth am i murmuring? haha..get a hold of yrself Mae!..haha..its just really sad it seems i am nobody to u when u are somebody to me

=I had a heart and it was true. It fled from me and went to you. Be kind to it as I have done, for you have two and I have none=

i mean..sorting out my thoughts, i dun even know you. Damn. Have i been trying too hard? hahaha..maybe that is so. Sometimes, his so near and yet so far. Like today, all i could say was "bye" and u waved me off..hahahaha. I guess Excellance really makes one nervous.

Love sought is good... but given unsought is better.

hahaha..okok then, leave it to fate again ya? Fate better not be too late..hahaha..

hmmz..well then..Another lonely night, i shall walk..=)

woohoo...

2004-05-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

so tired..i'm absolutetely drained..dun u ever have this type of feeling?..whereby everything goes wrong?..haha..i think i am addicted to panadol..hahahhahaa..ever since thurs..man..of all the drugs..panadol..how cool?..muahahahahahha...ever since thurs..i've been in a wreck..wheeee....hahaha..help help help...wheee..hahaha..thurs i got MC..never go sch..any of u miss mi?..hahaha..think happy thoughts!! whee what is there to think..hahahaha..how abt the fact that i'm in execo!!..whee..ELDDS execo!..hahahhaa..i got the post of secretary?..hurhurhur..yeah..we got bronze for SYF...kinda disappointing though..but, at least theres a colour..=) oh ya!!!...when out on sat with josey and js..=)..miss them so muhcy..took sum kawaii fotos!..hee..okko..so, onli one neo print..=)..too bad i got no scanner if not upload give u all see..hahaha..wheee..he was sitting beside mi...so happY! hahaha..=D..to be updated =D..see ya *muakz*

wheeee.....

2004-05-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

Urhg..this is so annoying..i'm making a big fool out of myself..hahahaha..slating out all the nonsense rubbish..damn..hahahaha..wat am i to do?
wat am i to say?
i also dunoe..ni zai wo pan bian..wo ye bu zhi dao yao shuo she me hao..hahahhahha..hao sa wor..hee..my brain isn't working at the moment can sumbody help me please please please should i get out of this sticky situation now?..hee..or should i persist and stay on like a idiot dunoe what to do..how how how how..i think he finds me anoying and a bitch..= (..hahaha..i think more of annoyed with mi bahz..wants mi to shut up..hahaha..so her ei am shut up not knowing what to say..hahahahhahaa

2004-04-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

woah..long time since i've blog huh?..hahaha..long time is an understatement ya?..=P..well..okok..hows my life ya?..hahaa..been awesome thats all i can say..i've gotten over him..haha..decided..haix..meant to be then meant to be..if not forget it..i'm so tired..i feel poignant everytime i think of my love-life plight..maybe i've been trying to hard..okok..Hopes are better left alone..yeah..how i wish i could love and be love back by the one i love..where are you?????..man..this is crap..bye

2004-03-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

"A mighty pain to love it is, and tis a pain that pain to miss"
but of all the pains
" The greatest pain is to love, but love in vain."

Don't u think this is so true?..well i personally do..

2004-03-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

A Friends Poem
For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, a touch of reality:

When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.

When you smile... I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared... I will razz you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick... Stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath... I pledge till the end.

Why, you may ask... Because you're my friend.

hahaha..reality bites..^^

2004-03-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

Realised this blog is kinda redundant now.
Haha..it was a void for me once..dedicated to u

You = Kettle

I guess u noe who you are if u happen to stumble upon this webby

Anyway..this blog i guess have served its predominant purpose then.

Not that i will close u down or anything but i'll not update u as often as i did or as long as i did for that matter.

I don't understand why i still feel the prick even now.
I always get melanchonic when i come online.

Vivid sweet memories i had. lalala...whee..guess its time for me to concentrate on more dominant matters le ^^

Just like what you did to me...
I dun think u noe how much sorrow u have evoked in me.
But, u did.
I dunnoe how.
But, somehow...U did..
I still dun understand so many things

Until now, i never knew how hard it was to let go of someone who was never yours.
It was hard, it definately was.
And, i never wanna go through this meaningless and somewhat redundant pain again.
Foolish & Naive i was.
I learnt and moved on.
Have u? =)

Luv,
Mae

2004-03-23T22:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy,
Tired Day Long Day Exhausting Day = Fatigue Mae
Orientation..hahaha..run run and run...zzzz
Fun la..hope tomolo better day..got to noe my OG mates better..the colse ones are soososososos sweet & fun..
hahaha..i'm in the Slackers Club!!
Went for meeting for June Japan Youth Trip..
Retiring sooooon...

man, i realli am getting old..zzzz

Hugs & cookies
Mae

2004-03-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

wad u want me to say?

How could an angel break my heart why didn't he catch my falling star.
I wish i didn't wish so hard.

Watever...
WhEeeEeee...=)..so tired..sec day of orientation tomolo..gotta prepare for it.
My sch Dominated by pretty gals man..muahaha...feel quite inferior..=(
WATS WRONG WITH ME?
muahahahaha
So many unfamiliar faces in MJC today..where are most of my pals..=(

Follow yr mind, never yr heart
Mae

2004-03-22T12:04:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy...

HoW ArE YoU ToDaY? ^^

Now In Mjc lIbRaRy WaitinG 4 LuNcH...WhEe...*hUngRy*

I In SarGaS 2 AgAiN!..WhEe HahA No chAnge Of ChEeR =(

Yr bOcK Test aRe U doInG WeLl?..StrEssSsEd? HopE U CaN Do WeLl^^ Jia You k?

Luv,
Mae

2004-03-21T01:07:00.000+08:00

I hate breakouts..argh.....how come how come how com..zzz...sch reopening and nothing is done and i mean nothing muhahaha..met M.A.D4 today..wheee..muahaha..love em' lotsa! =)

I heard her face was white as rain soft as the rose that blooms in May...
hugs & cookies
Mae

2004-03-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so hungry..muahahhaa..ate yummy food today =) had OG outing..had fun man!..^^

Happy day!
Happy yet silly mousey!
Mae

2004-03-19T11:24:00.000+08:00

I heared he sang a lullaby
I heared he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heared he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to belive
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
May be I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heared here face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Becouse his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch may falling star
I wish i didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Dream a sleepless night..Heard this song by accident on my stereo. Don't u just think its lovely?

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart

Dear blog..i read my personal diary..all i can say sadly is that
History just repeated itself.
muahahaha..nvm..=)

How could an angel break my heart why didn't he catch my falling star..
Mae

2004-03-19T02:03:00.000+08:00

I'm dying..i'm so sad..i'm dying in some aspects of my life

Getting myself all inferior over this, i gotta work dang hard now.

I have to.

With the expense of so many, i can do it, i been doing it since then.

Working hard can really shun u away from my thoughts.

Thats good, isn't it?

Though the occasional sms from me, i dun think i contact u much now anyway.

Realli, i'll be lying if i said i like u now.

But i would be lying if i say i dun miss u.

I do. I really do.

Dang..gotta find something to focus from now on!

Da best would be my ever lacking studies..muahahaha
Must jia you wor!^^

Gonna shun my heart from now...
Until one comes with the key, i shall not seek for it.

2004-03-18T14:01:00.000+08:00

I know you're going and I can't make you stay I can only let you know I'll love you anyway...

Sometimes I can't even breathe without thinking of you first.

Everyday is nothing but stress to me constantly dwelling on how you got the best of me.

Love appears like bright lights in the night sky, and disappears in the blink of a teary eye

Better by far that you should try to forget what is passed and smile-than that you should go on remembering and be sad.

Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.

She loves him more than he will ever know, he loves her more than he will ever show

What if I told you I don't care
It makes not difference if your there
What if I told you I'm glad you're gone
I wished you'd leave for so long
What if I told you I never again wanted to hear your voice
See touch or hug you was my choice
That I hate you to the core, the bone
What if I told you weren't worth a tear
That you leaving never brought me fear
What if I told you that everything I just said is a lie
And every night I think of you and cry
What if I told you I want you back
That your love is what I lack
What if I told you my love is true
Just what exactly would you do?

I may not get to see you as often as I'd like- I may not get to hold you all through the night- but deep inside my heart, I know that this is true- no matter what I do, I will always be in love with you

2004-03-18T13:52:00.000+08:00

http://www.geocities.com/fun_link1/link16.htm

I just love this story..Read it and i bet u'll love it too..=)
Hmmz..i guess many pple have heard about this phrase b4 but have u ever though about how it came about?..well..the answer's in that link..hope u'll enjoy it as much as i did..
haha..i read it countless times but it never fails to strike a chord with me ^^

Bored, so decided to read some love stuffs.. Found some sad but lovely quotes.

"It hurts to breathe because I know every breath I take proves I can live without you."

Don't u think thats so sad? haha..i do.

"I'd trade all of my tomorrow for one single yesterday, just to be with you again."

danG!..how did these pple come up with such sad words? I bet they must have been dang hurt..my heart goes out to them. hope they are doing fine now..

Mae

2004-03-18T12:50:00.000+08:00

VALENTINE
(Jim Brickman, Jack Kugell)

If there were no words, no way to speak, I would still hear you.
If there were no tears, no way to feel inside, I'd still feel for you.
And even if the sun refused to shine,
Even if romance ran out of rhyme,
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my valentine.

All of my life, I have been waiting for all you give to me.
You've opened my eyes and shown me how to love unselfishly.
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before,
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more.
I will give you my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my valentine.

And even if the sun refused to shine,
Even if romance ran out of rhyme,
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
'Cause all I need is you, my valentine.
You're all I need, my love, my valentine.

I hear Sarah Brightman's version..Superbly beautiful. haha..i wonder if theres such a figurative language..^^

Nice song..should go Download!..erm..i mean buy the CD =P haha..tomolo going out..whee..today gotta fufill my duty as a student..a.k.a do my dang homework..zzz..

You're all i need, my love, my valentine.
Mae

2004-03-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

He message me
Suprise suprise..^^
i msg him last nite..last nite was kinda melanchonic for me.
He flooded my mind, Questions arising none answered. A simple Qn we used to ask each other "how r u 2day?"
i still wanna noe the answer to that... everyday
I couldn't fight it, i smsed him goodnitey msg.
Just wanna noe i care. thats all..
wasn't expecting any replies..
But, one came..

You said u did not have any cute goodnitey msgs le so ask me not to send so often if not u will feel guilty and u wished me good morning.

I replied "haha..its okay la..=> Good morning to u too"

Its realli okay..cos all i want u to noe is that i care for u. I wasn't expecting any reply as usual. As if i did, i would be immensely disappointed. A simple goodnite typed by u is enuff..=)

I dun expect much, in fact i dun expect anything back at all.
Its much better this way.
If i were to think this way then "dan lian could be yi zhong xing fu"

I'm not counting on anything cos again..Time goes on Life goes on and i'm moving on too..^^

Had so much fun today with Josey and JS read josey's testi for me..so dang touched!..*hUgz* love ya lotsa babe! Hope u'll love the pressie! =) Took many pics with HPs..muahahahaa..became very 'zhi lian' like tat..=P..but it was dang fun! wheeee...=)

Feeling so hungry now..muahahaha =P

All i need, my love, my valentine...
hugs & cookies
Mae

2004-03-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..
I suddenly realised..Maybe he decided to call it quits because of his studies.
Yeap..when i made the realisation, i knew i could not be wrong. I just knew it.
Everything makes sense now...EVERYTHING.

I finally let go. I finally did.

No lies no fronts, i really let go.

U are my main priority, yr welfare and everything.
U somewhat come b4 me, so i'm willing and i did let go because now i noe why u did what u did.

I'm so happy now.
I am.

Well,i'm moving on now, with u as a distant sweet memory.

As u once said "The good memories are kept sealed in my heart and the bad ones are left in the fireplace."

U made a difference in my life. Though short but worthwhile. I learnt so much from u. I learnt about myself and us.

You were never mine, its okay.
Cos, events prove u were never meant to be mine from the start.

They says "If u love somebody set him free and if he comes back to u its meant to be."

I guess we were never meant to be then.
I'm not perfect for u and neither were u perfect for me.

So, i've packed my bags gather my heart and moved on.
I'm free now.

Time goes on, life goes on..and now i'm moving on too i'm not gonna think of y u r gone. Cos i think i've got the answer now.
It may not be true.
But whatever it is, i believe it was to yr interest to what u think was best for yrself.
That matters.
Yr happiness...

They says
"To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another."
Did i display that selfless act for u that had allowed me to finally let go?
muahahhaha..god noes..=P

But, i've gathered myself and certainly am moving on without u.
Time goes on Life goes on and i am moving on too..wheee!!!
At long last..finally....=)

Happy mousey!
Mae

2004-03-16T10:35:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..
Got miss Maemae?..muahahaha..guess not..=)
Like the quotes?
well, i like em'
hmmz..gotta find more!..haha..
going out later...
how come i can't seem to get him totally outta my head?
muahahhaa..well, at least i'm trying ya?..=)
Yeap!..kambete and i can do it de! =)
Thanks pals 4 hearing me out..*muakz*

"Time goes on, life goes on, and all i can think of is why u r gone."

It was hard trying to let go.
It still is.
U are my fave mistake
Happy yet silly mousey
Mae

2004-03-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."

"I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is."

"Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you're gone."

"I can't escape the thought of you. Even in my dreams you are there. It's not fair how your gone, and how you're moving on so fast, while I am still living in the past."

"I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I hated you. That sooner or later I would come to believe it. But I now realize that by lying, it makes me want you even more."

"Parting of loving someone is learning to let go."

"A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain. And, when you finally let go, you're free from any pain, but your hands are empty."

got this from a webby..i'm not that sentimental and emotional not to mention creative to cum out with these!..muahhaha..but some are very meaningful. They are comforting quotes..=)

I like these 2 the most.
"Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you're gone."

"Parting of loving someone is learning to let go."

"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"

"I thought I'd forget you, but I guess I forgot to."

2004-03-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

I like him so much
why can't he see,
the feelings i have for him,
whats inside of me.
i don't believe he knows,
what i really think,
when he doesn't talk to me,
my heart truly sinks.
i wish i could tell him,
but honestly I'm soo fricken scared,
will he like me for me?
or will our friendship tear?
and if i do tell him,
how will he react?
will he stop being my friend,
or will he like me back?
i think about him all day,
the whole hour of class,
i think thats probably why,
my classes i cant pass.
when he talks to other girls,
i think i get jealous,
so i try to distract myself,
and talk to other fellas,
but this doesn't help!
shux, I've tried,
i say i don't like him anymore,
but man i can lie.
i want to talk to him more,
gosh i want to call,
the more i think about him,
the more in like i fall.
maybe one day,
I'll be able to tell,
what I've kept inside,
for so long and so well.
i guess right now,
I'll just try to push away,
the things i feel,
until that precious day.

By Stephanie http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=76418

Haha somewhat wat i wanna tell u..

U are my favourite mistake.
Letting go was hard to do.
It still is.
Happy yet silly mousey
Mae

2004-03-14T20:09:00.000+08:00

I thought I was over him until I found out I really had no choice but to finally let go.

You can't hold onto something that doesn't want to be held onto.

Our lives are shaped by those who love us and those who refuse to love us.

We ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

You were my favorite mistake.

Letting go was hard. It still is.

Silly yet happy mousey
Mae

2004-03-14T01:27:00.000+08:00

Yawnz..so tired..went out with Casse whole day..haha..took neoprint!..so nice! maybe had to do with fact the pic is small..but..the main point..its lovely!..whee..muahahhaa

Talk alot about u, Reminiscing myself of how i fell for u in the first place. Reminding myself also of why i had to let go. Precisely of the fact you are not who you were now.

The Letting go part was hard. It still is =)

Rules to be a Happy Teenager
#1 --> Be Nice to everyone
#2 --> Like everyone
#3 --> There will be bound to be pple who dislike u.

What can u do abt that?..Live with it! & don't bother Thats life. You win some u lose some.

Read this today in Kinokuniya in "How to be a happy teenager" by Andrew Matthews.

Interesting book many..In a Nutshell parts..so summarised points easier to read. If not i would have lingered in that section for dang long!..=)
Bought some stuffs today..nice braclet and doggy!..=P..nitey nite!

Happy yet silly mousey
Mae

2004-03-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

Today, long day. Typical day. Had the good, bad and ugly. But, not u.
Don't wish to tok about the bad nor ugly, cos i forgot what le..muahahhaa
Footy match at TPJC with TPJC (duh!) =P got 2 noe a senior from MJC from soccer, my pal said he was cute..*agreed?*..never really see wor Score:1-1 i was more worried about losing cos of my OGL dun wanna see him sad. Cos he such a great guy.
Charmaine gave me a sort of parting gift as last day of sch le. A sweet lil' book mark. I so touched!..man..love ya lotsa gal!..all the best to yr future endeavors!..U can do it de!..maemae have faith in u!...u so sweet and so lovely i believe u would be able to settle down in yr dream JC de..^-^ tk care..promise to keep in touch yeah! =D
Went out with josey and casse...eat until soososososo full!..then saw Tiong with his GF whee..muahahha..feel so happy for em' they make such a cute couple..=)
today too tired le..woah..tomolo!!!..yeah NUS open house then going GaiGai again with Casse..Josey cannot go..=(.. thanks for the lovely poohy pal!..*muakz* luv ya lotsa!

Happy but silly mousey!!

Mae

2004-03-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

Dear bloggy..
Etched with sadness when i saw u. Cos u totally ignore me. Do i not exist in your eyes or heart anymore? Guess not.

Ignorance is Bliss they say.

Let me distort that a lil' out of context.

If i did not noe u that would have been bliss..is knowing in this case here applicable to what i wanna say?

My heart doesn't hurt now. Not at all..I just feel sad but no more heartaches.

woah!..=) so Happy le!
weekend coming go NUS open house..whee..classmates going England tomolo...wish them safe trip and fun trip..gonna miss em'!...*hugz* luv u all so!..04A201 is da best! =)
I bought MJC uniform a lil' big going to change it..=) Looking 4ward to the day i don it whee..no more sec sch uniform for mi!..*bleugh*..haha..a term u tought me...*bleugh* Nice day today, saw a senior i keep on seeing yeah hor cum to think of it..man..i rather see u..ehz..how cum u all good friends but don't hang out wan..haha..if not can see u as well..but for what?
haha..forget what i've just said.
Whee..happy but silly mousey!

HUgz & Cookies
Mae

*nice song backgroud?*
hahaha..also dunoe what song is that..=P..dunoe how to search for others so i made to do..hee..tk care bye!

2004-03-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

Today..chapter 1..was awesome..had a great day..or so i think..muhahaha..miss shopping so..wanna study but dun wanna study..sheesh..procasinator

just 4 u..
He's the one I call in the middle of the night
He makes everything right
Holds me when I start to cry
Makes me smile with just his eyes
Shares my hopes, dreams, and fears
Wipes away all my fears
Loves me without regret
I just haven't found him yet

If there truly is one perfect person for everyone and destiny always takes its course
then think of all the experence we get going through the wrong ones
and how perfect we'll be for the right one

Who do u run 2 when e only person in e world who cn mk u stop crying is exactly e person making u cry?

Mae

2004-03-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

I let my heart ruled for once and once was enough for me to know never to repeat it again...=)

The chapter of u and me closes here..thank you..
Anohter chapter enfolds, i ended it with u and me and i start anew with myself..leaving u a distant memory behind...=)

love,
Mae

2004-03-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hmmz..reflections..well well..wat have we here..same..i;m numbed it doesn't hurt anymore..i'm just sad...cos i really like u so and this had to happen..too bad..hahaa..they says if its meant to be its meant to be if its not then let it go..
nitey!
wheee...happy yet silly mousey..

2004-03-08T20:01:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..Fruitday today..never spot him. Better lahz hor...raining these days..school was fun..very enriching since i did fall alsleep nor feel really sleepy..wheee..muahahah...tomolo gonna be a long day of tutuorials..zzz..
nitey blog..wanna go study and listen to my newly burned cd..whee..
tk carey luv ya!
Mae

2004-03-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

he sms-ed me...good nite msg.so happy..silly me..muhahhaa..can't help but feel that way..wheee...
tk care hugs blog!

2004-03-07T13:00:00.000+08:00

dear Bloggy...
saw him a Bugis yesterday, i almost freaked out..-period- lets end here.
wheee............muahahahhaa..bought a so dang pretty necklace for myself!!!!!...$25, but its too lovely to resist!!..heart quite pain lehz..muahaha..nvm nvm, happy happy lahz~..have one accessory to add to my collection! wat collection?..muahahhaa..
Had so much fun yesterday!..whee..saw so many meridians!!!..in the Mrt, at bugis..then at tampines mrt!..sheesh..my pal saw no tpjc-sians..hahaha..MJC pple noe how to enjoy man!..muahaha..officially in love with this white tee from Gio!..gonna wear it as many days as i can!..whee!!
haha..wats with me and white shirts nowadays?..cooL!!!!
Listening to this song..i believe i can fly by "me first and the gimmes gimmes"..muahaha..nice name!!..whee..but i prefer the name "taking back sunday" so lovely yet mysterious name like tat nehz!
wheeee...had so fun fun, now tempted to go shopping everyday!..muahahha..jia lat already lahz!.. o.O
gotta noe my pri sch friend cuming to MJC!..my class most likely sumore!..muahha..whee!!!..=)
I'm a silly yet happy mousey!

Hugs & cookies
If i believe it, theres nothing to it!
I believe i can fly..wheee..
Mae

Gotta do tutorials now..whee..zzz..

2004-03-06T17:00:00.000+08:00

wheeeeee...........muahhahahahhaa.......u r now offically yeappY!....a friend!!!!...hahaha...i actaully managed to do that!..so happy...no lahz, thought about it..hmmz..cannot like tat to myself, not fair to u nor me. Next time when i ready then i will tell. wheee...Love my life..going out to Bugis now!!..whee..whee whee..going shoppIng..muahahhahaa
just now went out wiht family..hahah..tickle here tickle there..muahahha..so lovelY!..wheee......
Today my freind was so sweeet!!..so sad he going to poly.. =( ..never mind he promise to visit..=)..wheee...
tk carey pple!!

Why should i care?
I'm losing my grip and i'm in this thing alone.
I'm crying out loud...
-Losing grip-

2004-03-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

zzz...doing history tutorial..yesterday was a long day, took leave during recess and wnet ot the docs. not excalty sick but felt kinda unwell. decided(for myself..muahaha) 2 give myselfa much-needed break. Just feel sick of everything. why?... dunoe. Solution i have it le..=) Afterthat went out wiht josey casse and hw. Had fun, but one friend bag got stolen. we managed to catch the suspect on tape..dang scary nehz. Haix, feel so bad over this so unexpected. On second thought, who would expect thier stuffs to get stolen wan?...dang the robber.. Luckily my pal was strong and dealt with the matter well. If i were in her shoes, i would be at a lost and make a big fuss over matters and spoil the day for everyone. but she did not she was so calm and handled it maturely. woah..admire her man..*hugz* love ya lotsa pal..=)
Today got cca i also never go. how nice of me..haha...am i sinking into depression? nahz..guess not. Just one of this mood swings. Gotta get out of this asap. I learnt sumthing. lectures are more fun than tutorials..whee..wat crap..muahaha
Tk carey..wait going out with Anthea..=)..wheee...see ya!..*hugz*

How do i not miss u when u r gone?
Hugz & cookies

nahz..

2004-03-04T19:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..
Told my Angel about u!..muahahha..hmmz..Hello Angel!!..haha..i know i ain't good at graphic designing but, not bad for a techonology peanut huh?..*grins* Not many cool things but working on it!..haha..i needed 4 hrs!! trying to decorate this site!..muahaha..guess it really isn't idiot-proof..=)
Today, a miracle happen!..haha..i'm exaggerating...my Poohy dropped yesterday cos his chain broke..so sad when i realised he was gone..i remmebered where i bought the dear at suntec mini toons!..whee..=) yesterday really wasn't a nice day dropped Poohy and my lil' doggy from uncle . He bought it from Universal Studios Japan. Me and my itchy hand go and hang him on my bag. *Regret* Hope Doggy is okay..hope i can find u!! like how i found Poohy..

I found Poohy at MJC canteen!..some nice person left it sitting on the table..he looked sosososo adorable!! a lil' bear against the whole big whole..woohoo..picked him up and hugged the lil' tyke!..Thanks to the kind MJC person!..=)..so happy!

after sch had cca learnt aging make uP!>.woohoo!!>.muhahaha...fun!..then go history museum for lecture on malay culture woah...u have to see for yrself the Singapore History Museum to actually belive its situated there! muahaha..got lost man!..then when know its in a shopping centre we all were momentarily stunned!..muahaha..at least now i noe, guess haven really been going out and exploring SG muchy!..*Grins* When i went home at MRT station saw u, so shocked. It was pretendous we walked past each other w/o u realising it!..haha..today again!..twice!..i guess u sis not see me. Guess u never will..hahahaha..nvm!..=)

I'm a silly mousey!!! But a Dang Happy one!!..wheeee...gotta packed my table!!..and get my white bag which had turned black out from the washy machine..gues sits still tumbling in there..wheeee..muahaha..tk carey!

Lotsa Love
hugs & cookies

Leaf departure is because of wind pursuit or because tree did not ask her to stay.

Hello..

2004-03-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

Dun give me grey areas.Clear cut, quit talking to me as much as i wish u do. let me let go, not that i want to, but i have to. Thank You. remember, i like u, really, i do. maybe i cannot get over the fact u've gotten over me completely. or it didn't even begin b4 it ended. But, i do noe, u mean more to me than a friend.
U mean more to me than u think u do. I dunnoe what but thats wat i have to say to you.

Me and my lil' white tee..

2004-03-01T00:35:00.000+08:00

Had greeat dinner at TP there..with my family and relatives..to celebrate my results..cool..scrumptous meal!...wondering my papa no sleep yet so late le..haha toking about father, i saw my 'lao pa' today. Hmmz..wonder how he is..
anyway, discovered and exploited my love for this white tee in my cupboard. Summore not mine is auntie yani wan..muahahaha..love it so..from Bossini..wearing it tomolo..wheee...going chalet again tomolO!..and to sch for course consultation get to see u..wheeee..hahaha..better slp b4 the dark circles pop uP!..nitey nite
Meridian..here i come!!

Hugs & cookies

U dun love a woman because she is beautiful but she is beautiful because u love her..

2004-02-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

So true..thats how perfect he is to me.
So many things to say so little time.
Fatigueness getting da best of me...
L1R5-->15!! (-4) = 11?
Eng-->A1..=P..first time. love Rangit Singh!..=)..i'll remmeber tiger beer the next visit sir!..thank U!..many regards!...=)
Thank u Mr Sharil from the bottom of my heart with all earnesty and sincerity.
Love u FamilY!..*muakz*

Leaf departure is because of wind pursuit or maybe tree did not ask her to stay..

2004-02-26T19:18:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy,
Out of sight out of mind?..so they say. Not now not now that haven't happen. Everyday, i never fail to wonder how are you and where are you now. Are u wondering about the same things too?..i bet not. Never mind..=) I've been looking out for you, cause i know i may not be able to see you again, but to no avail. Even if i did catch sight of u, my first reaction would to try and pretend i could not see you or maybe hide to not let u see me.
Why?..haha..how pathetic can i get? I really got so many things to tell you...I miss the days when i could talk to you about anything and you would be enthusiastic to know what. Sadly, that can only now be a fond memory i have to keep to remind myself why i fell in the first place. Sometimes, i hope that u would feel the same way i do. I really do. But never mind if u don't cos its really okay. Nohting special or nice about me i am very much aware of that.
Back to me, my fears, how i wish u will just sms-ed or tell me good luck. That small gesture could certainly help cheer me up!..=)..even a simple message from u, brightens me up..See, what powers u behold!..muahahaha
Have i fallen?..Did i fall?..i never meant to..really, i wish i hadn't fell..but on second thought...i never really regretted it though. The only thing that holds me back from admitting that, is actually the present u.
Tomorrow is the moment of truth. I screwed myself real bad, careless is all i can say to amend myself. But it ain't enough, maybe its pre-destined.
I really really hope i can do well, really, i never wish for anything this hard before. The fear thats gripping me, actually is eating me from inside. The gut feeling that i would not do well, is in reality, killing me.
Pray hard and wish myself luck!
Going to chalet le..go and stay with classmates to kill the time b4 setting off to my could be last day in MJC...
Love my family and friends..Mummy said "Mae, no matter what tomorrow just accept it ok?" I was so touched. Love u and Daddy MummY!..*Muakz* u both and kor and didi mean the whole world to me. I remember mum once said "come what may"..yeap come what may tomolo!
Again, Pray hard and wish myself luck!

Hugz & Cookies

[Missing You]

2004-02-25T16:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..
How r u today?..muhhha fancy i asking u a question such like this..=P
Feeling so crappish now..Results confirm getting back on 27 Feb 2004 2.30pm, my DOOMSDAY. Here i am at Library@MJC writing my blog while waiting for my LIT and GP essays to be printed out. Yeah..specking about the devil, printed out le!!!..WoooHooo..=) *ding Dong*
Today literature performance, kinda cool though my outfit look like waitress..=P..muahahaha..anwyays today my OGL asked me about you..=)
HOw are u and i doing..muahhhaa..huh?..i really dunoe how to answer thta i said "dunoe" cos u and i really got nothing mahz..just only me liking? you?..i still dunoe, but the sense of comfortness talking to u, enjoying our conversation etc is kinda lovely..
Today, in school canteen my friend from macpherson came up to me and say "Mae, got someone want to know whether u have boyfriend or not" i asked him who he said his friend. I guessed Darren caosue thats his only friend i know, then he say "no" then i dunnoe who le..but i wonder who..hmmz...anyway iw as very stunned by the question. I told him "No don't have" then he say "don't lie.." then i ask "I am lying?"..then i laff then he added "how about the guy u went out with the other time to the school movies..then i told him no, we are not a couple. then added something..then he said "byebye" until now i still dunoe who asked. I smsedhim and he never reply must be at cca bah..hmmz..still wonder who...
Anyways Bloggy *toodles* gotta run off go home le..moi ELDDS friend waiting for me..=)..tk carey
Hugz & cookies

Haha. what a joke.

2004-02-23T19:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy...
Still can't figure out where this stanza from, hmmz, it just hit me during lit i think?..muahahhaa..nvm..no specific implimentation or watsoever. maybe there is, but i dun wanna noe what neither.
Dang, i just had this idea again i dunoe where it popped out form. That i wanna drop literature...but, again me being me asks "what can i take then?" well, no answer for me lehz. I dunoe whether i am getting sick of JC cirruculum or not.
well, what puts me in delimma
1) what can i take in poly?i'm a nut at everything!..hurhur!..a fact k..
2) i wanna do somehting i can be regarded for? esp. in my family..yeap..maybe JC thingy is prestigous has been implimented in my numb skull. darn, its been so long and i can't shake off the feeling of wanting to be notice by u all?..so a note to people, never ever let yr child have the feeling of being neglected. To u, he/she may be second or third in yr heart, favourism isn't wrong, but to the kid u are always at the top. =)
3) my teachers been so cool and my classmates too..=)
4)the life there is quite fulfilling, long days, sadly, i prefer the time outside lectures etc..muahhaha..who doesn't?
5)what can i do in poly again??? sheesh....
i dunoe, see my results bah, i hope theres an answer i will find.
I believe results will be out on friday.
Do anyone have this problem besides me?..muahhaa..how indecisive and frickled minded one can get?

i actually miss u today. what can i do about it?..mahahhaa, i'm such a loser
How did i fall for you?
fallen so hard so fast this time, but again, i'll pull myself out, i promise!!..=)
but, i just wanna ask, am i not good enough for you?..yeah i believe so. *hugz*

Happy day today..=)
hugz & cookies

If Only i could turn back time..

2004-02-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy,
have u ever wonder if u could turn back time what would u do?
hurhur..i did.
woah..for starters, i would have studied harder. Not that i did not, but i totally screwed myself..dun wish to elaborate how..too sad to talk about it...
and i wish i had not let myself fall..this i also dun wish to elaborate..muahaha..one would wonder y i set up this blog for huh?
Why am i always falling for soemthing thats not meant to be????..man..in the end i have to go "ji de yao wang ji, wang ji" and get myself all melanchonic over it?..man..i'm screwing myself up so badly.
Now i've learnt to give and not expect anything in return when it comes to that matter. Even 'aunt agony' mentioned that too..hurhur..how pathetic can it get?
results gonna be out on wed,so they say. how am i to survive through this? Its tormenting and eating me from inside..eekz..
why do i have to deny the fact i actually do like you? cause i know, my feelings ain't gonna be reprocicated. never mind, other good things in life happen to me, not only you. I believe theres someone out there *smile*
In the meantime, i ain't gonna build a defence mechanism..cos though i'll miss out on the sad things over u, i'll miss out on the lovely things that make life beautiful too..=)..yeap..
so i've decided,
Come What May, Time shall tell...=)
In the meantime, I'll be right here wating for u even if u dunoe how i feel...I'll get over this soon, i promise myself..=)

*hugz*

Right here waiting...

2004-02-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy..

Today got one toot girl..whu doesn't know how to appreciate u, comdemned yr deign and layout..muahahhaaa..she who doesn't appreciate fine art and graphical design..muahahaha..and she also dun appreciate Gareth Gates..no taste in music also..*sad case har?*
muahahahahhahahaa..but i love her all the same..*muakz*

How is she i sometimes wonder..man..miss her so..when she read this, she will be traumatised man!..muahahhaa

Today, is a fine day..nothing much to elaborate about..nothing much i wanna indulged. went shopping for some necessasitites with my family then came home to read the papers..muahahha..wanna do somehting, but still procasinating..muahahhaa..determination now!!!!!...zzz..muahahaha

Guess i'll still be procasinating then..hee!

why do i feel the way u don't?
i wonder again...

Hugz & cookies

what my heart wants to say...

2004-02-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy..i so happy de wor today..muahahhaa..cos i just did finish the dang lit utopian writing which i had been procascinating for the past few days or weeks for that matter..hee!..Dolly was such a dear today..i was self pitying myself on my uncomprehendable lit essay questions when she voiced out her concerns..i read le..i felt so so so dang well..happy and touched...man..miss her and Anthea and Lor so dang muchy..= ( 2day suppose to go out de and have one of our concerts..but last min somehting couped up. Haix..nvm..=)..i have u gals in my heart as true friends never part..*hugz*

here is our little conversation...
x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
hmzzz.. just a word of advice for you lo.. bec hor.. all commit suicide one.. alot of people is actually from jc people lo.. esp.. they gave themselves too much stress
(:x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
seriously and you are almost the type bah.. you really gave yourselve alot of stress lo..
(:x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
that why i think you really have to think carefully
(:x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
dun wanna see you regret or suffering..
(:x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
like i say.. bu yao wei le.. wu lu ke zhou er choose a path which you dun want to..
(:x) |oV!nG SoM30nE !s A SuFf3r 4 oNe$3|f (:0) says:
if you wan to go jc and interested in.. then well.. go ahead

wah..i read le..wanna cry nia..Josey also told somehting like this to moi i'll never forgot her example of the Butterfly story..man..i was touched beyond words..with friends like this, u realised how meaningful life is now to u...and how precious they r to u...*love* u all so muchy!

hmmz..today i was also touched when i read an sms sent to me by someone sweet..=)..thanks...i was really touched by angels today..hmmz.. my very own angels..*Grins* haha..yeah hor..the angel and mortal thingy my class playing, i still dunoe who my angel is..hee!..woah..the game ended 14 feb haha..i better find out..play detective le..=)

hahaha...heck witht he fact i left 5more essays to do, and i getting my much dreaded results soon..guess, my chapter of life in Meridian will end soon. Man, hard to let go, but guess i gotta prepare myself for the worst right..hate to juts think about it..27 feb seals a fate...

nitey nite bloggy..
if u wanan know, i dun wanan let go, say it isn't so.-->Gareth gates..=)

what will i have to do to make u feel the way i do?..i wonder..

Hugs & cookies

This pain is just too real...

2004-02-21T20:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Bloggy...
hee!..nice backgorund huh?..muhahhaa if i do say so myself..=P..very flowery dangy but, muahahahha...sweet & lovely ehz?..Moulin Rouge love the show..Nicole kidman..dang lovely woman!..muahahhaa..tom cruise is blind..=P hee!..*grins* had a tough time really tough!!!..and darn difficult muhaahha..i almost snapped!!..haha..i literally had to grid my teeth through..thanks to jie yi too!!..*hugz* miss this cute and perky gal..=)
haha..spent 1 hr plus figuring this bloggy thingy out..man..had a nice nap, until 6+ when i realised the darn evening sun was shining its harmful UV rays on mae the piglet, muahahha..ironically the rays were only on mi!!..the other parts of my room was spared..great fengshui place huh?..*bleugh* had no choice but to shift my dang lifeless limpless self up...and instead of being productive doing my darn lit essay..*utopian*...zzz..i deicded to do sumthing that makes mi happy(which backfired but now i'm happy after i've accomplished it..hee..).
Man..my stomach juices are coroding my intestine's walls man!..Dinner time!!..yumMmmYyy~~..woohoo..see ya later bloggy

.:"Why fall into something when in the end u have to struggle to get out?":.
*food for thought*

Adios...However my heart breaks..

hugs & cookies...

2004-02-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

muahahhha..b4 i go off...wishy my bloggy..nitey nitex *hugz* woah..miss ya so

2004-02-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

Fortune's fool...so says Romeo don't really care for its real content but just think it sounds darn sophisticated..muahahhhaa..artyfarty language..this is what happens when u come into contact with too much lit..zzz..which reminds mi of my utopian writing essay..zzz dued on monday..great weekend ahead huh?

muhahahaha..today, went ktv..long time no go le..miss my friends and felt so blissful with them, felt so blessed and happy to have friedns like them!..Love them' so muchy!

school was soooooo tiring...but fruitful lahz...zzz...i believe i'll get used to it..
aiyah..still dunoe how to decorate u bloggy!...muahhahaa..tk carey..one say, i noe one day i can do it de..=P
*hugz* cookies
Mae

Heaven knows....

2004-02-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

well..new day new post..haha..not necessary though just dunoe how to start
how abt the good ol' fashion..
Dear Bloggy..
Yeap!..=)..nothing much today though, just realised today after PE that i look dang tired..muahahaha..had ELDDS meeting yeap..Soreiee?..(haha..wats the spelling again?) is cancelled..well at least thats wat they say..then went for lunch with a sweet lovely gal from ELDDS =D..woah..i'm so glad i met her shes soooo sweet!! and hardworking..hmmz..i should take her as an example ya?..
I really have to get over this
Time is all i need
Yeah, i will!....
Talentime rehearsal was cool..=)..saw a new friend and heard a great cover of "The power of Love" man!..i was blown away!!..haha..looking forward to tomorrow's talentime finals!!..
Yeah!!!..MJC beat TJC in soccer!!!...5-0!!!..woah!!!..muahahaha..so happy screaming and cheering today..so hilarious man the J2s at the viewing gallery. They nicknamed a player "birdnest" muahahha..was having a good laugh over the witty and somewhat cynical comments made..=P..*GuFfaws* *Guilty*
PE was crap..i love the running on the track part, i think the track is the most ideal place for running. I just love the feel..muahahha..huh? =P but, i totally detest the darn 'conditioning' (i still dunoe y they use this word), i irk the "leaps" (no leaping was involving!). Realised i had to do something abt my arm strength man!..yeap..dumbells..here i come..
Got a lovely compliment from a friend today..=)..haha..it actually perked up my day!..everyone needs to be appreciated once in a while ya?..=D thanks!..*hugz*

This pain is just too real..listening to "My Immortal"
hugs & cookies
Maemae

2004-02-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

Muhahahhaa..dang..i had to actually get help from my brother to teach me how to write an entry..haha..a blog of my very own..woah..amazing!! Cool!! FunKY!!! muahahha..how idiotic can i get man?..hahaha...lalala..stil learning to take things easy..yeap..always look on the bright side of thingys they say. Simple yet, true. Life isn't permanent yah? yeap yeap yeap...wanna write my very first poem here now woohoo...

here goes..

There she was,
standing under the moonlight sky.
Moon beam rays falling across her beautiful face
My heart ache as i recalled the scene
of a beautiful angel i had seen.
Harsh reality never will she,
will never be mine as hard as i wish.
In despair, i cried her name
"why would she never be mine?"
I hear myself say.
A silent tear rolled down my cheek
as i recalled the day i fell for something
that was not meant to be.

hee!..will tell ya more blog when/where i got the inspiration for this poem...u will be going *tsk tsk* hahaha..=P..gotta make way for bro now...

Hugs & cookies
Mae

2004-02-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

Heyhey..this is Mae speaking..*clears throat*..test test one two three??..wOoohoOooooo....!!!! *GrinS* ~\(^-^)/~